I’m skipping over all the wonderful things about raising girls, of course. The way they love to talk and sing songs all day. Their love of paint and craft projects. They are sensitive and loving and wonderful helpers when a baby is around. We have a lot of discussions of what real beauty is, and how to be confident and courageous.  I teach them that they are all real princesses, because they are daughters of a heavenly king, and the responsibility that comes with that knowledge. I hope that I am raising my girls to be strong women. But sometimes I am at a loss.

Like yesterday, for example, when I went upstairs for a moment, and came back down to find Lucy and Elise helping to beautify each other. They had found my lipstick and an eyeliner brush. The lipstick was almost entirely gone, and they were so pleased. “Mommy! Look! Don’t I look so beautiful?” I might be calling in some outside help when they are all teenagers.

My Mom makes the best: birthday cakes for me

My favorite thing to do with my Mom is: watch movies

My Mom is good at: mopping the floor

My Mom is as beautiful as: a flower

My Mom teaches me: about sharing with my sisters

My Mom loves me because: I am special

I love my Mom because: she lets me watch movies

I really hope these answers from my 4 year old are more a reflection of her personality than my parenting skills. I promise that I don’t let my kids watch movies all day while I mop the floor. And we eat more than birthday cakes, we really do.

Despite the new insight into my motherhood, I am really quite smitten with these three girls. Lucy and Elise can sing “I am a Child of God” all the way through on their own, and in their tiny little voices it is possibly the sweetest song I’ve ever heard. It brings tears to my eyes, even after the four or five back to back renditions. Lucy can also do a spot-on impression of Rolly the puppy from 101 Dalmations, and she does it all day long. As soon as breakfast is over she starts with “I hungry, mama. I hungry.” I don’t have a video of Lucy saying it, but here’s a clip from the movie. It might as well be Lucy.

Shipping more than half our toys may have been the best thing we’ve ever done. Maybe I’ll never unpack the rest. Lucy and Elise have been playing with their little Ikea train set all day long. They will drive around and around the track singing “Chugga, chugga, choo! choo! Chugga, chugga, choo! choo!” until someone steals one of their trains and a fight breaks out. Since pretty much all we left out for Annika was card games and puzzles she has become quite the puzzle master. We found a few 63 and 100 piece puzzles at the thrift store and she’s been putting them together almost completely on her own. I’m glad for all the puzzles because I am much better at playing puzzles than I am Polly Pocket. The girls spend their days running around in their super capes, riding their scooters, and building block towers. Basically, with half the toys and twice the space they’ve been playing hard, staying focused on one task for longer, and since I’m not spending as much time cleaning up toys I’ve had more time to spend with them as well. Maybe less really is more.

Oh, and apparently we watch movies too. Lots of them, according to Annika. Whatever we’re doing together, I’m glad I’m their Mom.

(Annika is on the attack, and Lucy holds onto her title as Queen of Funny Faces.)

The next day, feeling confident, I bundled up the kids and we drove to the park. The sun was shining and Annika was excited. We lasted all of about 3 minutes at the park before Lucy and Elise were screaming because their little fingers were frozen. See, I remembered the snow coats and hats, but I didn’t think it was so cold that everyone needed gloves. Lucy and Elise were crying and crying in the car because their hands hurt, and Annika was screaming because I made her leave the park. I wasnot quite as pleased as the day before.

I gave up on the “get outside everyday” plan. I’m not saying it is a bad idea, but it didn’t work for me. With no backyard, and lots of icy rain, it just doesn’t seem worth it to bundle everyone up and plead and beg and carry little girls until everyone is outside. I feel grouchy just thinking about it.

So we stayed inside and made the most of it. My girls are really starting to enjoy playing together, and it has been wonderful to experience. Not only do I get a little bit more time without them around my ankles, but I love listening to them laugh and talk and giggle as they make up games or sing songs or dance. Not that it always goes so smoothly. Lucy tends to get left out, and there are always tears, but it gets a little bit better everyday. I hope they stay friends forever.

(When you have to stay inside, nothing beats boredom like books and cookies.)

Today it snowed a little bit and we all went outside to catch snowflakes on our tongues and dance in the falling flakes. Maybe we just need a change in the weather – snow or sunshine would do the trick, I think. Both would be great.

Brad was home more than usual over the holiday weekend and life is so much more fun when he is around. It is also easier to get out the door and I try to take advantage of that.  Now that I am always thinking about leaving Germany, I feel like I am seeing everything from a new perspective. Knowing that I will be in the United States soon makes me value all of my unique experiences here. On Monday we drove up to the castle by our house just to play. We’ve been there numerous times, but usually we are showing someone around or eating at the restaurant there. This time we went just to climb and explore and I felt so grateful for that. Seriously – how cool is it that my girls get to go spend the day playing in a real castle?

Elise is our messiest eater, and has a bad habit of playing with her food. Most nights she spends her meal alternately eating and stuffing her water glass with everything on her plate. We’re working on manners. However, when she gave herself a kale mustache at dinner the other night we went for the camera instead of insisting she be more polite. The raised hand was Brad’s idea, and I must say, I think it is a nice touch.

Since it is clearly time for us to leave Germany, where should we go next? Washington? Utah? Iowa? Texas?

Brad is headed to business school, and we are well into the process. He has interviewed at the University of Washington and BYU. He has upcoming interviews with the University of Iowa and the University of Texas -Austin. They are all good schools, but with very different programs and locations, and we are having a very difficult time picking our preferences. We should hear back from all of the schools within the next couple of months, so we will keep you posted.

Our girls are a wonderful age for Christmas this year. Annika was old enough to remember last Christmas, and to anticipate each new morning and the eventual arrival of Santa Claus. Lucy and Elise weren’t really sure what was going on, but they were certainly old enough to get excited by the lights, the music, the food, and all of our activities. Each morning they would look out their window at all of the Christmas lights hanging in the street and excitedly point and say “Mommy! Look! Look! Christmas!” That said, my girls are at a fun, crazy, chaotic age where nothing ever goes as plans, and everything we try ends up in some kind of disaster. I was going to write this post and just share pictures and stories of all the fun, happy, yummy things we did this December but that wouldn’t be quite honest or fair. You see, we did a lot of really fun things, but it was really crazy too. We made snow globes – but the first time we tried it Lucy and Elise were screaming because I wouldn’t let them hold the glue gun, then Annika dumped a huge pile of glitter in the water, but it was too fine and wouldn’t sink so we had this snow globe with a glob of glitter floating on the top that would never filter down the the bottom. We made cookies together too many times, but mostly the twins just tried to climb up on the counter to eat the dough and when Annika tried to frost them they all got broken and there was frosting everywhere. When we made gingerbread houses Elise sat by me and licked the frosting off of my house and painted the table with it. Annika was interested for a couple of minutes, and then ran off to play. The rest of the evening I could be heard saying “Go away, girls. Go play somewhere. I’m making my gingerbread house!” We have fun around here, but it is messy, and there are tears, and Brad is continually reminding me to temper my expectations.

So, there are supposed to be captions with these pictures, but they’re not showing up. Lame. But basically we got a tree and decorated it, Elfie left fun surprises, Lucy and Elise loved the snow globes (after they worked), we celebrated Brad and Cambree’s birthdays, Annika decorated cookies, and we delivered “candy cane play-dough” to all of her friends.

We have officially submitted our paperwork to separate from the Army next August. I am excited to be going back stateside and to be closer to family, but leaving is bittersweet. We’ve lived here for over 4 years now, all of our children were born here, and it is really the only permanent home we’ve known together. We love Europe. This was our last Christmas here in Europe, and I’m a bit torn up about it. Christmas markets really aren’t Brad’s favorite thing, but we went over and over again because I didn’t want to admit that each one could be the last. I visited the Christmas market in Bern-Kastel Kues, we rode the train to Mainz, and the Baumholder Christmas market was right outside our front door. (Literally — in the picture you’ll see Annika and Brad standing at our front door.)

Christmas Eve and Christmas Day we spent together – our little family of five. Brad didn’t even get work calls the entire weekend. It was a little Christmas miracle. On Christmas Eve I planned a dinner with the kinds of food Christ would have eaten, and even came up with scripture verses or stories relating to Christ to go with all of the things on the table – candles, bread, grapes, water, pomegranate, cheese, lamb, etc. It was one of those things that seemed like a good idea in theory, but really is not. Before we could even get the food on the table Lucy and Elise were screaming for the grapes. Then I turned the lights off so we could eat by candlelight (authentic, you know) and Lucy kept yelling “Dark! Light on! Dark! Light on!” I would try to read a scripture, but nobody was listening – the girls were just crying for food and Brad was busy trying to keep them fed. By the time I finally gave up on the scriptures, and got ready to eat my own dinner Elise adamantly informed me that she was all done and wanted to get down. It was a delicious dinner anyway. We also attempted to act out the nativity, but the twins hijacked baby Jesus and kept putting him to sleep in different places. Annika did fabulous in her role as the angel – she knew just what to say. “Glory to God! Peace on Earth!” After Lucy and Elise were ushered off to bed Annika left Santa some cookies and bubbly water “because he probably gets tired of milk.”

I’ll let the photos of Christmas day speak for themselves. We had a wonderful holiday, and we hope you did too. Merry Christmas!

We took Lucy and Elise out in the snow last year, but this was the first time they were really old enough to play in it. While hesitant at first, they came around and became very attached to our little miniature snowman. They drop their “s” when they say snow, so for the rest of the week whenever we passed a window they would call out “noman! noman!” After an hour of playing outside in the first snowfall, our time was cut short when Brad pegged Annika in the face during a snowball fight. He had been lobbing snowballs at the girls’ feet, but Annika bent down to make a snowball and then looked up at Brad just in time to get hit square in the face. It hit hard enough to make a loud “whack” and Annika couldn’t open her eyes for the next few minutes. It was really kind of funny for everyone but Annika.

On Tuesday, after another snowfall, Brad took a long lunch, and we went sledding with the girls on a little hill near Brad’s office. We were so proud of Annika, who went down the hill very first, slid down on her stomach, and was excited to try a bigger hill. While none of those things are exceptional, it was a big step for Annika, who has been known to show fear of small bunnies, fruit flies in her room, the Dumbo ride at Disneyland, and her own Father dressed as Santa Clause.

We’ve had a wonderful December and I might be just as excited as Annika for Christmas. We hope that everyone has a very wonderful holiday and feels an increase of joy, love, and peace in their lives. Merry Christmas!

I am thankful for dirty dishes, because they mean that we have (good) food to eat.

I am thankful for toys all over the floor, because they make my girls happy (most of the time.)

I am thankful for messy girls

and messy floors because they are a reminder that I get to stay home and play with my kids all day.

I took all of these pictures last week when we were all stuck at home sick. We’d been quarantined in the house for days and I was needing some things to feel grateful about. Rest assured I am not always so thankful for dirty dishes, laundry, and messy floors. Most of the time they are downright discouraging. But this exercise in gratitude was a good one for me, and got me through a long week at home. In fact, I actually enjoyed it. We didn’t have to run any errands, we weren’t going to any activities or playdates, and I remembered that I really am grateful to be a stay at home Mom.

Today I am thankful for cookies. Is that too lame? But, really, I am. That last two days have been foggy, and dark all day. So dark that while eating breakfast at 9:00 (long after the sun had come up) Annika asked if it was time to go to bed. I was puzzled. She responded with “Well, it’s dark outside! Is it bedtime?” Nothing cures the rainy/foggy/misty day blues like baking cookies. And then eating them. It warms up the house, everything smells good and the day went from cold and dark to warm and cozy – just like that.

We made both pumpkin oatmeal cookies and brown butter chocolate chip cookies. The oatmeal cookies were soft and chewy and full of fall spices. They are sort-of healthy, and you could sort-of, almost, but not really consider them breakfast cookies. The chocolate chip cookies may have me sold on brown butter. I’ve been seeing recipes calling for browned butter popping up, but had yet to try it. It’s pretty good stuff. It takes a bit more time, but if you really want to put your cookies over the top, give it a go. I was going to type the recipes out for you, but I’m too lazy for that. Here they are: Pumpkin Oatmeal Cookies from the PickyCook and Brown Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies from The Little Red House.

P.S. It may or may not look like I stole this post from the little red house. I’m not going to lie. That post about the brown butter chocolate chip cookies was my inspiration for making cookies yesterday, but my gratitude is sincere. I guess I am also thankful for hundreds of food blogs to feed my love of trying new recipes.

My Dad is here now for business again, and while I know all this traveling is difficult and draining for him, we sure are glad to see him! Today I am grateful for my parents. I used to think that parenting ended when your kids left home. Now I know that you never stop being a parent. Not only does the worry and the concern never leave, but the time and work don’t either. I am grateful for a Mom who spends so much time on the phone with me, and who plans Skype playdates with Annika. I am thankful for a Dad who has spent hours reviewing Brad’s application resume and essays, and who called me after my wallet was stolen to walk me through all the things I needed to do. My Dad tells me that he loves me all the time, but that phone called showed me how much he cares. I would like to think I am a responsible adult, and I am sure I could have figured all those things out, but it made me feel so good to know that my Dad was still taking care of me. I’m a lucky girl.

And my three little girls are pretty lucky too. All day long they’ve been running into the kitchen to tell me “We’re having so much fun!!!!!” Thanks for coming, Dad.